Screw you

There is a reason why I prefer T than N when it comes to Japanese.

T is much more reliable even though he is a little slow.

N is clever but he is unreliable. Like seriously unreliable.

I know. I expected.

I chose the wrong path when it comes to Japanese.

It is strange how Japanese affects my personal life.

It is because, kinda, of B.K. that I took up japanese.

It is because, kinda, of C.C.C that I wanted to go to him for help before class started because he knows Japanese.

And now, it is because of N that I am in the same class with him, even though I got no clue why.

He isnt considerate, you know. I dont even know why I am friends with him. I dont even know why I care. I had to buy his workbook for him or he would not do his homework even though it is 15% of our total grade. He would rather get a B, than call our mutual friend to buy the workbook. Yup, this is how much he cares for his studies. He could afford to give up those marks just so he doesnt need to call our mutual friend who couldnt take the same class with us. Somehow, N isnt actually fond of J for no freaking reason other than I was closer to J in japanese class.

I have to scream out here because since J cant study with me anymore, I am depending on N to help me out. But he could come over at around 1-4pm to "study" with me. I dont really care anymore. Forget it. He could have come earlier, but he doesnt want. He would rather come as late as possible. And then, sometimes, he would call and say, "Opps, too tired. Guess I'll see you tomorrow. Sorry!"

I am not surprised if he doesnt come over to study later. Seriously, I am giving up on him.

His priorities are screwed and it can go to flames for all I care.

I dont think he will ever learn how to organize his life. He is so screwed. He is a little older than me, yet, he doesnt know what he wants. It amazes me when I meet these kind of people. And he is just starting college again. Guess he dropped out of college with bad grades, figured the working world is tough, and is back to studying again. Knowing him, it will be SIX years more before he gets a degree, and by then, he will be super screwed. He will be the old bachelor left on the shelf.

I will get a good laugh then, when I am married to a freaking rich husband who cares about me.

And then, I can say, "Good ridiculance! You're so screwed!"

I will throw my head back and point a finger at him and go "Ha!"

Dont mess with me.

Happee Post

Time again for another happy post.

1) Find a fantastic boyfriend. The sea is big.

2) It is good to have great friends like G.Lu, K.Ha, Abd, B.A, A.A, K.Chen, RamiN, and the family...

3) I am able body.

4) I have a degree, soon.

5) I have a bright future, all I need is confidence and will.

6) I have a beautiful, secure life, because my parents will always be there.

7) I have GOD.

8) I have the power to love.

9) I have the will to life.

10)I have lived a good life.

11)I have been spoilt by my parents.

12)I have people who love me.

13)I have love people, even if they dont care about me.

14)I have the power to choose for myself.

15)I have laughter, and joy at my fingertips.

16)I have a future so bright, it shines no matter where I go.

Happy things

Happy news.

Shipped off another book.

Talked to Dan Fisher.

Talked to Keith Singleton.

Agi bought me a ticket to the young choreographer's showcase.

Tung said he is coming over to my place to do his homework.

Shared lunch with KY.

Money and Stars

Have I told you how much I hate dealing with money?

I would gladly give up $$$ just to have a peace of mind.

Of course, within limits.

Eg. I got my refund back.

Eg. Bank overdraft is my fault. Pay extra? No problem.

Eg. Airplane cancellation. Dad wants me to claim back the money.

But the problem is...we did get to the destination in the end, even if it is through another airplane. But dad wants me to check out my insurance policy...etc etc etc...
Truth is, I would gladly forget about the cancellation just to save me more headache.

The bad news is: Daddy has too much time on his hands.

Sigh.

And no, this matter does not depresses me...since I did get to my destination...so it makes sense to me that the money was used, kinda.

It is just ... so troublesome.

~~~

On a happier note...

I bought 2 jackets and my FIRST pump aka cute girly shoe! All of them second hand from a friend of mine. 50 dollars for everything! So it aint exactly new, but hey, it is cute...!!!

Sigh.

Buying stuff makes me excited and happy.

And her cousin has a kind of eyeball shaped gadget that shows the milky way/universe/stars on the entire ceiling. Absolutely beautiful. Plus, you can adjust it so that it can shoot comets/shooting stars. It is all very tiny and it only appears at a certain spot. Plus, the stars will move. It is so exciting!

Hahaha. My cousin, friend and I spend some time lying on the bed looking at the ceiling of stars, demanding...where's the shooting star!!! Why are the stars so blur!!!

And so, the poor guy had to adjust everything...to suit our whims.

Hahaha....

Hmm...but it was fantastic...

Although I did find it too giddy because it was too near ... and I felt disorientated.

Still...

Beautiful...

Lovely...

Starting over

I am trying to shake off an addition.

Today, ALL HAPPY AND GRATEFUL FOR LIFE AND POSITIVE POST WILL BE HERE.

I WILL LEARN AGAIN HOW TO BE A BEAUTIFUL STRANGER.

Everyday, I will try to post something I am grateful about, something I am happy about. Gone are the depression days.

I WILL BE POSITIVE. POSITIVE. POSITIVE.

Today's happy deeds.

1) Accompany my friend to perm her hair.
2) Ate dumplings.
3) Bought second-hand clothes and a cute pump!
4) Study for japanese.
5) I said no to florida trip. Sorry!

And I will start to sing.

And I will be MYSELF AGAIN.

The happy, positive, smiling me.

Wish List

It was the end of Fall semester, nearing December, the month of Christmas, when a girl said somewhere along the lines of, "So what did you ask your parents to get you for Christmas?"

I replied, "Nothing. We don't really ask. If they want to give anything, it's a gift."

She looked at me, her mouth shaped into an 'O' and went 'hmm'.

She explained that everyone in her family has a wish list and they often get what they wanted as accorded from the list.

Today, I read an article about financial expenses, "Overspending on Kids Risks Financial Future". Yes. I read the newspaper - Yahoo News.

It said that parents find it hard to deny their children's wants. Parents also make four common mistake (reduced excerpt taken from the Web site)

1. Ignoring their retirement. Remember, the kids can always take student loans, while no one will give you a loan for retirement.

2. A bedroom for everyone. "Somewhere in time, good parents decided every child needed a bedroom," Allvine says.

3. Keeping up with the Joneses' kids. "Throughout the suburbs of America, there is a fierce competition for who can throw the most lavish birthday parties for their children," says Scoggins. "Renting ponies, carnival rides, etc., is a common scene. Setting the bar so high can destroy a child's appreciation of the fact that some of the best things in life are free and set him up for a lifetime of needing a high-cost lifestyle in order to be happy."

4. Not teaching them about money. "Parents who are struggling themselves to get the most out of their money become terrible role models and teachers for their children," Allvine says.


The third mistake struck a chord in me. Like Christmas presents that become a necessity, some people - children - are taking things for granted. E.g. MTV - My Sweet Sixteen or Paris Hilton aka, brats.

I often go 'wow' when someone mentioned that xxx is their Christmas present from xyxy. I thought that xyxy must have really love them to shower them with such expensive presents.

Now, I know the truth. Wish list.

I have come up with both sides of argument. For and against.

E.g. Asians - parents pay for everything until you get a decent job. Therefore, Christmas, we don't ask for much or if we do, it is not anything too expensive.

Americans - children work and pay for their living. Therefore, Christmas, even if they ask for expensive stuff, it is ok.

The method is different but the answer is the same.

The examples are generalized. I imagine every family has their own traditions but really, I somehow prefer the Asian style.

Wish list? Nah. I prefer surprises.

To feel Involve

There is something wrong with my love life. I am not attached, but I FEEL involve.

I feel involve because there is unfinished business waiting for me, loose ends to tie up.

I feel involve because there are people who really LIKE me, but I don't feel the same way.

I feel involve because of the guilt hanging over me like a constant reminder that I am not completely free.

I feel involve because I don't know how to break it to them without causing pain.

I feel involve because I don't know how to communicate emotions across verbally. In fact, I never talk about emotions.

I feel involve because I just want to be friends but everyone gets the wrong idea.

Lastly, I feel involve because I am too lax with my guy friends. Every time they asked me something, my answer is yes, because I don't know how to say No or think that Nothing will ever come out of it. That we are just buddies.

With all the following reasons of me feeling 'involve', I feel that I cannot be involve romantically until I am friends with everyone, because I dare not take sides.

Is this what it feels like to be a Libra? To stand aside, analyse the situation, and have no part in anything but to keep the equilibrium steady?

No wonder the best explanation is - "I'm so messed up."

It is a bad answer, but it is my best.

Eat, exercise and sleep.

I played racketball today and ran 5 rounds.

No wonder Im sleeping in the computer lab.

At least its not during class.

Gosh, I forgot to mention my head hurts on the left side. A left headache? This is so weird.

Anyway, I had cor-sents and some chocolate tiny muffin for breakfast, courtesy of my professor.

It was big quiz time, and everyone sat at the lounge to discuss quiz questions, which he always gives a week before. He is the most lenient professor ever.

So my classmates and I sat around the table, discussing answers and when we were ready to take the quiz, we went back to class....

Only then I realize....oh, evaluation is today too!

Woah. Great Food.

No sarcasum here but he does treat his students nice.

That was the third time he brought breakfast...and im so darn tempted that I ate lots.

Anyway, i hope its all gone during gym time. Really. Please. Let me lose weight.

Eyes wide open

Pictures below were taken a couple of weeks ago. All caption are written directly under the pictures.



Picture taken at the South Oval. Protesting War.

Overview of the entire 'protest'. It is more like a awareness (acc. to me). If you notice carefully, the shoes in the foreground are ordinary shoes that belonged to babies, kids, women, etc. They are the people who were also innocently killed in the war. In the background are the soldiers' boots.

Close up picture of an empty boot and a tag.

Eyes wide open poster and another overview of the boots.